three word wednesday (four days late)

Jolt
Ribbon
Zeal

It was an open expanse of road, a black ribbon of asphalt that stretched as far as the eye could see, until the heat rising up from the ground swallowed the horizon.
It was a familiar patch of highway for Tim, a long haul trucker gets to know things, familiarize himself with restaurants, roads, truck stops, hell, even the "special ladies" he often would find comfort with on the mandatory overnight rest period.
But there was something different about this patricular stretch of Highway 395 -- the Devil's road in between Reno and Las Vegas -- that caught his eye that scorching summer afternoon. It wasn't the jolt of wind that damn near tipped his rig over, spilling the covertly packaged cargo he was ferrying on a side job. No, the wind wasn't the problem. Hell, he'd driven on nine wheels for damn-near a mile once on the coast of California on a stormy night he thought would kill him or someone around him. No, the wind was nothing. But the zeal with which is hit him was something he didn't expect. It felt, well, almost unworldy.
He was after all, approaching the poorest kept secret in the United State -- Area 51.
But Tim didn't believe in that shit. Aliens? Little Green Men? All bullshit as far as he was concerned. But something, little did he know it was someone, had blown his truck, carrying U.S. Army weapons, off the road and on to the shoulder.
Steeping out of the cab, he looked at the five blown tires and muttered, "Fuck" to no one and all the coyotes in ear shot. "Well, better hunker down and wait," he thought. No telling when someone's gonna come and find me.
Little did Tim know he was right. It would take someone a long, long time to find him on that remote stretch of 395. But something finding him? That was where the whole adventure started.

Coming home?

the boys and i went back to church, them for the first time, me for the third. we are in the process of "finding" a church. we will hit up St. Joe's next week, then sacred heart before deciding.
it's interesting that the thing i used to dread as a child, teen and even into adulthood has become a comfort. in a way, it does feel like home.

belated Christmas favorites

Christmas wrapping from The Waitresses

Here's one for TJ

Bonanza

Been watching Bonanza again recently. First off, I love the show. As corny as DeAnne thought it was, I liked the messages and the fact that it took place in parts I've once roamed -- namely Tahoe and the Eastern slopes of the Sierra Nevadas.

But more than that, I'm coming to laugh at how life imitates art.

It's me and my three boys, each one looking a little and acting a lot like the Cartwright boys.

First, there's Ben, the father. Just out to make it in the world, poor Ben never seems to be able to pin love down. So, instead, he settles for building an empire for himself and his sons. Maybe it's not a bad idea.

Then there's Adam, the smart, tough-to-crack oldest son. Brady is a lot like Adam. He's smart, a bit of a loner and always seem to be above the fray.

Next, there's Hoss, the loveable galoot who can kick ass and take names, but is a huge softy inside. That describes Tanner to a TJ.

Finally, there's Little Joe, the fiesty little brother who gets in his share of trouble fighting for what's right and fighting for the babes. While it remains to be seen if Nolan's as much as a ladies man, he certainly is going to be a mean, ornery cuss, what with his two big brothers telling him what to do.

It's funny

how DeAnne wanted to meet my mom for the nearly eight months we were dating. Now, mom is making a special trip to Redding, probably her last, and we are no longer together.
I looked forward to my mom meeting the someone I thought would grow old with me and my boys. I looked forward to getting the "Mom Seal of Approval."
Now, I'm alone. Showing off only my house and back to making lemonade.

When??????

When?

It is the question that haunts me, that plagues me, that defines me.

When is it my turn for love?

When is it my time to be happy?

When do the good times start?

When do I just give up trying for love?

When do I chuck it all and run away?

When does all the bullshit cease?

When can I get the answers to all the questions I have?

When is it time to move on?

When will mom die and I finally be really alone?

I need a new tune

All my songs are sad ones lately. I need to a new iLife playlist

Here's my playlist:

Girlfriend break-up

Last goodbye -- Jeff Buckley
Just Once -- James Ingram
Alone again, Naturally -- Gilbert O'Sullivan
The breakup song -- Greg Kihn
Goodbye to love -- the Carpenters


Mom Dying

In my time of dying -- Led Zeppelin
Great Gig in the Sky -- Pink Floyd
Sunshine of my life -- Stevie Wonder (she used to sing it to me)
And when I die -- Blood, Sweat and Tears
Fade to Black - Metallica
Cancer -- My Chemical Romance
Try not to breathe -- REM
Everybody Hurts -- REM


Work sucks
Bang on the drum -- Todd Rundgren
take this job and shove it -- Johnny Paycheck